learning

I know I’ve said this before, but it seems the classes always come at the right time. I’d been really struggling with how all my efforts seem to be in vain. And all the ways I have learned to interact with people are horrible for witnessing, making much of my attempts useless. Today I learned that is essentially true, but there is hope.

I’ve had a regular struggle with this concept. Essentially the idea of having success by my own works. I know I’m supposed to live by faith, but that always leaves the question of “what do I do?” And eventually that leads me to focus on what I am doing more and more until, though I recognize I need to live by faith, that I’m trying to plan my works so that they lead to success.

But today we talked again of how we need to hand all over to Christ. Let him work his supernatural work within us by giving our will to him. But for someone who likes to think he knows the ends before taking action it can be hard to get this to stick. Thankfully God gave me a lesson tonight.

There is a student I’ve been out of contact with for a few weeks. I knew he was part of a study on Monday nights, and wanted to visit, but hadn’t been able to in the past. So tonight was the night. Due to a variety of reasons I ended up missing the study. I could have arrived earlier, but didn’t realize the study would start so early. Immediately thoughts of how I messed this up popped into my head, and how I wouldn’t have another opportunity until after Thanksgiving. But I realized that meant I was trusting in myself.

So instead, I stopped the thought train and asked, “What lesson can I draw from this?” It would be easy to focus on my failure like in times past, but that is not a useful lesson. I already know I am not capable within myself, and it distracts from Christ. So instead, though I look at what could be done better in the future, I decide to leave this situation in Christ’s hands. My mistake is not more powerful than Christ’s power, and even if not through me, he will find a way to witness to this student in the future.

Later in the night, the student called me, let me know he wasn’t at the study, and we scheduled time to meet in the future. God is working things out, and he is teaching me to see by faith!